Stay Away from the Moon

I just stepped out of the office for a glass of water and stopped, as I often do when poking my head out, to say hi to my wife and son. My wife told me that Finn had asked what she wanted to do today, and she answered that she’d like to fly to the moon. She shouldn’t do that, he cautioned her. When she asked why, he replied, “Newt Gingrich.” Pressing for more details, she discovered that his reasoning was that Gingrich would make you work in a factory if you went to the moon. He apparently wants to build factories in space, which proposal Finn learned about this morning while overhearing my wife’s listening to Rachel Maddow.

Yet another reason to avoid voting for Newt.

You know, I hear that while he was building factories on the barren moon, he was shopping the idea around to build on other celestial bodies as well, the promiscuous rascal.

Given his religious background, it stands to reason that Romney might have an interest in space too.

Being Taken Down a Peg by Pampooties

Although I have a bad habit when reading of not looking up words whose meanings I’m a little fuzzy on the nuances of, it’s rare for me to read a book that uses enough words I don’t know that I’m inclined to keep a running list to look up later. This week I read Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, and I recorded 170 words that sent me to the Kindle dictionary, many of which the Kindle couldn’t even define. Most of the words I flagged fall into one of these categories:

  • Words I’ve looked up many times but always forget outright or lose the nuance of (e.g. truculent, serried)
  • Words that I’ve never encountered and whose meanings are perfectly clear but that I recorded because I thought they were neat (pyrolatrous, querent, terra damnata)
  • Specialty words pertaining to things like guns, saddles, geology, landscape, and flora (loads of these, which I don’t feel so stupid for not knowing)
  • Non-specialty words that I just plain didn’t know
  • Spanish words, sometimes specialized or archaic

I’ve always thought I had a pretty good vocabulary, but boy did this book school me. I’ll have to go back to my kids now and tell them that in spite of past statements I’ve made (tongue in cheek and with false bravado, to my credit), I do not in fact know most of the words. Here’s the list, if you’re interested.

acequias
aguardiente
alcalde
alparejas
alpenstock
anchorite
apishamore
archimandrite
argosy
arrieros
artemisia
aubergines
azoteas
baize
bagnios
benjamin
bistre
bung-starter
burins
cantle
cantonment
cárcel
carreta
cassinette
catafalque
chaparral
charivari
chary
chines
cholla
chorines
ciboleros
ciborium
claymores
corbels
cordilleras
corrida
coulees
criada
cuartel
dace
dap
debouched
demiculverin
dogtown
dolmens
dorys
duledge
dunnage
escopetas
eskers
fard
felloes
frizzen
fulgurite
fusils
gadstine
galena
garraffa
guidon
guttapercha
hackamore
halms
helve
holothurians
huaraches
imbrium
jacal
javelina
jokin
jornadas
juzgado
keelsons
kivas
knacker’s
knappings
lanneret
lonbations
madstone
malabarista
malandered
malpais
manciple
matracas
merestone
monocline
morral
nacre
nopal
ocotillo
osnaburg
ossature
palmilla
paloverde
pampooties
panniers
pauldrons
parfleche
pelados
peltries
pitero
potsherds
pritchel
procrustean
purlieu
pyrolatrous
quena
querent
ramada
ratchel
reata
remuda
replevined
revetment
ribracks
ristras
rowels
sark
scantlin
scoria
scree
scrog
scurf
scurvid
serried
shacto
shakos
shirring
skelps
skifts
sleared
sloe-eyed
solpugas
sotols
spalls
spanceled
sprent
sprues
squailed
stobs
surbated
sutler
suttee
suzerain
swagged
swale
swapt
talus
tapaderos
tatterdemalion
tectites
terra damnata
thaumaturge
thews
thrapple
tonto
trapdykes
truculent
treeboles
vadose
videttes
vigas
vinegarroons
uncottered
welter
weskit
windrowed
whang
withers
withy

The Achy Breaky Pony Tail

After working as a copy editor at a newspaper for a year soon after graduating from college, I snagged a job with a local startup that ran charity auctions. It turned out to be run by crooks, and after waiting around for weeks before I had a computer (I was editing printed out copies of the web site) and then enduring a few pay periods sans paycheck, I finally left, along with many other employees who, when informed that mandatory layoffs were coming, scrambled to be among those laid off.

We did conduct a few auctions, though, one of them for a foundation linked to the country music industry raising money for I forget what cause. Items included things like tickets to events, memorabilia, celebrity-owned instruments, and so on. One item was an event labeled “Guns N Dozers” the winning of which awarded you the opportunity to visit the ranch of a country singer (I don’t recall which one), with whom you would shoot guns and drive farm equipment.

To me, the most memorable item up for auction was the recently harvested pony tail of Billy Ray Cyrus. What’s more, it came with a Billy Ray doll. Don’t believe me? Check out this old news item. Anybody can own a fake Billy Ray Cyrus pony tail getup, but somewhere out there, a fan has the real article, probably encased in glass, framed, and hanging on the wall.

SOPA and PIPA

If you use the internet, SOPA and PIPA stand to affect you. A quote from a group working to prevent the bills’ passage:

It’ll give the government new powers to block Americans’ access websites that corporations don’t like. The bill would criminalize posting all sorts of standard web content — music playing in the background of videos, footage of people dancing, kids playing video games, and posting video of people playing cover songs.

This legislation will stifle free speech and innovation, and even threaten popular web services like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook.

Source

If you use the internet — and I know you do — please take five minutes to go watch the video from that site. If you come away from it nervous that content you like to create or view could be taken down by the bill, I’d encourage you to write your legislators. If you’re not so worried about that, then consider the proposition that web services you use and love, that add richness to your life and help you connect with friends and family, could be affected.

For a little more info about the bad things these bills mean, give this post on WordPress.org a quick read too.

To write your legislators in 15 seconds or fewer, visit http://americancensorship.org/ and scroll down to the “Take Action” section just below the intro section at the top. Fill in your name, email, address, and zip, and submit the form. It’s easy.

A few years ago, Representative Ted Stephens, of Alaska, made the news by shaking his old man’s fist at network neutrality, railing nearly incomprehensibly about delayed email delivery, Netflix, and the internet as a series of tubes. This is the kind of person who’s voting on SOPA and PIPA.

Book Day

As I approached the door of my home office today to come out for lunch, I saw that a large sheet of green paper had been slid under the door. My seven-year-old daughter is making up holidays, and today is apparently Book Day. This is a holiday I can get on board with. I’m not sure yet what the specifics of the celebration will entail.

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She's seven. We'll work on the your/you're distinction soon enough.

Book Day

It's Book Day!

Tabouli

I’ve been eating horribly for the past couple of months, and though I’m not generally one for making New Year’s resolutions, the beginning of a new year is a great time to start eating better again after the holiday glut.

Right now I have a hankering for fresh, minimally processed foods. I’m not big on most raw veggies, and I’m certainly not going all raw or Paleo or anything (hard to do with kids, even if they are pretty pliable in terms of food). But I think I can work more fresh, raw foods into my diet. I’ve been enjoying hummus lately but wanted to try making my own. While looking through one of my Moosewood cookbooks for a hummus recipe, I saw a reference to tabouli, which I first had earlier this year and loved. So while I had chickpeas soaking, I whipped up this batch of tabouli, which is fantastic. My wife is downstairs making pita bread from scratch now, and I’ll make the hummus once the chickpeas are done cooking in a bit. Lunch tomorrow is going to be a real treat.

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Bulgur mixed with olive oil, lemon, salt, pepper, and garlic. Next to that, parsley, mint, and scallions.

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The finished product. After food processing the green bits and mixing with the bulgur base, I added tomatoes and some cucumber. This stuff is delicious.

Christmas

A few highlights from our Christmas.

Thunderstruck Coffee Porter

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Here we have the Highland Brewery’s Black Mocha Stout — one of my very favorite beers — and one new to me, the Thunderstruck Coffee Porter. I had gone out today to pick up a pack of the former and happened to see the latter. Even though I’m not a coffee drinker, part of what I like about the black mocha stout is its roasty coffee(ish) flavor. The Thunderstruck really takes the coffee flavoring to a new extreme. Drinking this beer, to me, seems pretty much like drinking a cold coffee. Since I’m not a great fan of coffee as a dominant flavor (it’s dandy as an accent), the coffee is a bit overstrong for me in this beer. It’s an organic beer, and the coffee is roasted in the brewery’s own Asheville, so the locavore aspect of it (even if Asheville is a couple of hours away from me) appeals to me and is in fact part of why I’m a fan of the Highland Brewery to begin with. I’ve so far liked each of the other Highland beers I’ve tried, with this new one being my least favorite. You can read about some of their other varieties here.

That is All (Again)

A few weeks ago, I wrote a brief review of the first sixth of John Hodgman’s recent book, That Is All. I’ll summarize: I found it funny (silly, actually) and not really worth time I would have preferred to devote to literature that aimed higher.

Even so, I continued to plod through the book a few pages at a time, mostly while on the toilet, really in much the same way that one flips through the joke sections of Reader’s Digest while on the toilet. Tonight, I found myself torn between reading more of Hodgman’s book (I had about 90 pages left) and reading something I thought I’d really find nourishing. I hunkered down and basically speed-read the next 50 pages. I should pause and note that this is not a book that lends itself to speed-reading. Full of tables and footnotes and asides and a running calendrical storyline at the tops of the pages, it’s actually something of a chore to get through. And the information itself is often so bizarre, usually purposefully incorrect, forcing you to stay pretty alert or risk missing out on a lot of the humor. Essentially, it’s a book that demands a lot of attention while giving you very little back in return. In a word, it has been infuriating.

But tonight, between two sections titled “The End” and “The Beginning,” I began to catch a whiff of redemption. After all that silliness, Hodgman lays down something like this:

If you live, as I do, in a city that is not only full of intrinsic dangers (falling pianos), but also prone to natural disasters and targeted by violent extremists; and if you, as I do, enjoy a family history of cancer or some other congenital disease; and if you are, as I am, sedentary and overweight and over-asthmatic (as I assume you must be, as you are reading a book) … [ellipsis Hodgmans's]

ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY that if you are, as I am, a mortal human, then the likelihood that death will intrude upon your life cruelly, quickly, and before your chosen time — that it will take you before your own personal story for the world has unfolded the way you wrote it or it was written for you, and before you can even say goodbye — this likelihood is greater than you admit… [ellipsis mine]

Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable.

This is the manner in which Hodgman closes “The End” before moving on to the “The Beginning” (which is the end — eat your heart out Burnt Norton). In the final section, Hodgman gives us a true and proper narrative, a story that made me slow my reading back down even while negotiating the silly calendrical top-matter and actually begin to enjoy the book. It was beginning to seem a worthwhile read (and then it ended; that was, I suppose, all).

Even with redemption in the air, I can’t say that I liked the book. I sort of hated it, as a matter of fact, until the final sprint. Or, I was amused by many of the little pieces that made up the book, but I resented the the thing as a whole. As I said in my initial impression linked above, any batch of a dozen pages of the book would have made a funny blog post, but I sure didn’t need them together all at once. I won’t read any of Hodgman’s earlier books, but if he wrote another in the mode he adopted toward the end of That Is All, I’d snap it right up.