I did my first podcast this week. It took me hours to produce a 13-minute piece. A lot of the time was researching and selecting creative commons-licensed music for bumpers between segments, and a substantial part of it was finding and learning to use some audio-editing software (Apple’s Garage Band sucks for this, but there’s an open source program called audacity that’s pretty easy to use and does exactly what I need it to do. Still, to compile it and all its dependencies on my laptop today took an hour or two. Anyway, the podcast can be found here with all its warts and boils. It’s a dull work podcast, so don’t get too excited unless you’re interested in what I’m doing for work. Getting up to speed on all of this was rough, but from here on out, I think it’ll be easier, and it’s a somewhat more lively medium for delivering content than blogging is. While I think I can communicate more clearly and eloquently in written words the things I want to say, it takes me a while and loses some of the tonal nuance I hear in my head as I write things. And if you don’t overproduce it, I think podcasts stand to be a quicker way of generating off-the-cuff content, if a less polished way for microphonophobes like me. I’m thinking very hard about supplementing portions of this blog with podcasts. It’ll be easier for me to record a quick 30-second blurb about Lennie than to sit down and dread having to stitch together a month’s worth of updates. I’ll feel less self-conscious about producing a mediocre podcast than writing a mediocre post, perhaps because the podcast is more transitory and less open to scrutiny. My ever-discriminating audience is more likely to forgive a vocal blunder than a written one. There are some things I’ve written in particular that I’d like to capture vocally, as they’re definitely more alive in my head than they are on the computer screen.
Monthly Archives: January 2006
Laptop hosed
The other day, I was looking for some QuarkXpress-like publishing software for Linux after working with much frustration in Open Office to come up with a template for a publication I’m thinking about doing some work on. Open Office is great software, but it’s just not ideal for this kind of layout as far as I can tell. I found something called Scribus that seems a little rough around the edges but that I think’ll do the trick. Unfortunately, I had a lot of trouble getting it installed. It needed Qt, and that had some prerequisites that I had problems with. When I had trouble doing a manual install of this stuff, I decided to use yum to try to install qt, and at some point in the process, I used yum to uninstall it. And yum decided to uninstall a bunch of other stuff at the same time. Which didn’t really cause a problem until I had to reboot yesterday and gnome wouldn’t start. (Incidentally, I wound up finding an rpm for Scribus that installed with no problem and rendered all this pain really superfluous and thus doubly painful.)
So I decided to just reinstall my system. Since getting the widescreen and wireless working on this laptop was a pain originally, I made an effort to save all the info I recalled having needed to do so, figuring it’d be a pretty quick matter as a result. But I forgot to save my xorg.conf, and the wireless stuff didn’t work as seamlessly as one might have hoped. And though I thought I had blogged the steps when I originally set up this system just in case I needed to do it again, I hadn’t. Luckily, it didn’t take as long this time, though it still wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. So here’s a quick walkthrough for future reference.
For the widescreen, I need a tool called 915resolution. Once you get that installed, for this particular laptop, I add the following lines to /etc/rc.local:
/usr/sbin/915resolution 66 1280 800
/usr/sbin/915resolution 34 1280 800
/usr/sbin/915resolution 45 1280 800
/usr/sbin/915resolution 54 1280 800
Then, I edit /etc/X11/xorg.conf so that the screen, monitor, and video sections look like this:
Section "Monitor"
Identifier "Monitor0"
VendorName "--> LCD"
ModelName "1280X800@75HZ"
Option "CalcAlgorithm" "CheckDesktopGeometry"
Option "dpms"
HorizSync 30.0 - 82.0
VertRefresh 58.0 - 75.0
UseModes "Modes0"
EndSection
Section "Screen"
Identifier "Screen0"
Device "Videocard0"
Monitor "Monitor0"
DefaultDepth 24
SubSection "Display"
Viewport 0 0
Depth 24
Modes "1280x800" "1920x1200" "1680x1050" "1440x900"
EndSubSection
EndSection
Section "Modes"
Identifier "Modes0"
# 1280x800 @ 75.00 Hz (GTF) hsync: 62.62 kHz; pclk: 107.21 MHz
Modeline "1280x800_75.00" 107.21 1280 1360 1496 1712 800 801 804 835 -HSync +Vsync
EndSection
Some tutorials suggest that I need to get the ATI driver, but I’ve found that it’s not necessary. So, that takes care of the widescreen setup for this model (Sony VAIO VGN-FS550).
Next up, networking. I initially tried to cobble this together more or less piecemeal as I had done previously (thanks to the process of trial and error). But what ultimately worked was the directions that start here, which links to this site, which is the real jumping-off point. Essentially, here are the steps:
- Download and install the ieee80211 subsystem.
- Download a recent ipw2200 driver (which requires the ieee80211 subsystem).
- Download and install recent firmware.
- Copy the load, unload, and other similar scripts from the ipw2200 directory to, say, /usr/local/wireless
- Add the following to your /etc/rc.local:
modprobe ipw2200 cd /usr/local/wireless /usr/local/wireless/load #ipw2200 driver loader
- Reboot or execute those commands by hand.
- Then just bring your wireless interface up as you normally would.
The installs listed in the first two steps are pretty routine. Just do the standard make and make install. I don’t think I had to do any other steps to make those work. The firmware files have to be copied into the hotplug directory on your system, which you can find the location for by looking for the FIRMWARE_DIR line in /etc/hotplug/firmware.agent.
After getting the wireless working, I ran into a couple more problems. For both wired and wireless interfaces (though I initially thought it was just the wireless), I started getting random disconnects. When I looked at the output from dmesg, I kept getting the error “no IPv6 routers present.” After googling around, I checked /etc/modprobe.conf and made sure the line for eth1 specified ipw2200 as the module rather than eepro100, which was what was listed when I checked. So far, this has kept my link up for a few minutes. If this is the sort of thing that degrades over time, it might not appear just yet and I might not be out of the woods, but in the short term, that change (and a subsequent reboot) appears to have done the trick.
Miracles
The recent mine explosion and the deaths and heartache it caused has made me think a lot about the nature of certain aspects of faith. I blogged the other day about the impotency of prayer, for example. Another topic that’s come to mind has been the popular understanding of miracles. Many have suggested that the survival of Randy McCloy is a miracle. I suppose that in a twisted way, you can call this a miracle. I say twisted because it seems certainly a mixed blessing that anyone should survive with probable brain damage. What’s so miraculous or great about someone’s surviving to remain a vegetable or a shadow of himself? What kind of blessing will it be for McCloy’s wife and children to have (if this turns out to be the case, and let’s hope it doesn’t) an invalid to care for over the next 40 – 50 years?
The notion that any miracle has happened here seems even stranger when you consider the bigger picture. Twelve fucking people died in the mine! How can you label “miracle” a situation in which the alleged miracle-inducing agent allowed twelve to die while half-saving one? It would take a demented god to produce a people that can see a miracle in this situation. And it would take a demented god to permit a situation like this to begin with.
Of course the reason people see miracles in such situations is that they’ve been told for their whole lives that God is merciful and omnibenevolent, etc. And it’s hard to let go of deep cultural conditioning like that, especially when clinging to it in spite of reason somehow actually does help you to get through tough situations. To reconcile pain and suffering with an omnibenevolent god, the religious must always be on the lookout for a silver lining to attribute to the god, nevermind that he’s the author of the much more substantial thundercloud itself and should thus be vilified rather than praised (think of it in human terms: if a person killed a dozen people but only maimed one, we wouldn’t praise him for maiming the one while writing the twelve off as the reasonable product of mysterious designs). I can understand the emotional gymnastics people have to go through in order to negotiate this reconciliation, but viewing it from outside the funhouse mirror room of faith is sure maddening.
Nothing Fails Like Prayer
I’ve long been astonished at how forgiving Christians are of their god. They’ll pray hard for something (eg, “Please don’t let my husband be dead at the bottom of that collapsed mine”), and when their god fails to honor their pretty reasonable request, they give him a free pass. “God works in mysterious ways.” Any reasonable person would conclude either that there is no god or that he’s not so nice as he’s cracked up to be.
Let’s do a little thought experiment. Say that when you were hired at your job, your boss said things like “Ask and ye shall receive” and you were led generally to believe that your boss was a pretty nice guy with your best interests at heart. So say you go to him one day and ask for a small raise. Let’s say you’ve got a sick spouse and the hospital bills are just killing you. You’re not asking for a million bucks. You’re asking for maybe a 1% raise to help defray the costs a bit. And let’s say also that you’re a great employee, always working hard for the company and doing your best to honor the company’s values. And then say that your boss declines your request. Later, when things get even worse, you ask again and he declines again. This goes on for a while, and even as you ask for smaller and smaller things that any reasonably decent human being would grant, your benevolent boss either refuses to answer you or just declines to give you any breaks. After a while, you’re going to conclude that your boss is a jerk and that the general perceptions of him are mistaken. You’re not going to talk about how he works in mysterious ways or has your best interests at heart. He’s negligent or cold-hearted at worst and simply a capitalist at best. And he’s human, in any case, with his own interests to protect.
So then if you won’t give this guy a free pass and go on raving about what a good guy he is (and if you say you would, I charge you with lying to yourself), why would you give a supposedly omnibenevolent god a free pass for being equally (or more) negligent? It’s a cop out to allow that God works in mysterious ways when your reasonable prayers go unanswered and to give him credit for being omnibenevolent and merciful when things happen that make it seem as if your prayers have been answered. It’s a sort of cognitive dissonance to allow this, and I can’t understand it.
Of course, prayer is very problematic anyway. If one can influence an omnipotent, omniscient god through prayer, that god’s judgment would seem to be in question. That is, by asking for something, you’re in effect undermining the god’s omnipotence and omniscience and omnibenevolence by suggesting that you can offer some direction. To do this suggests that you’re not convinced of the god’s omni-anything and thus raises the question of why you’re appealing to the god in the first place. And on the other side, if you trust your god’s judgment and figure he’ll do what he wants anyway, then what’s the point of prayer? If you don’t believe your prayer can actually influence your god, why bother praying?
The fact is that prayer is really just a literary form that’s been passed down for thousands of years. It’s well-documented. First a direct address (“Our father, who art in Heaven”). Then some praise and grovelling (“Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth as it is in Heaven.”). This is a transparent appeal to the god’s vanity and has always struck me as sort of a sycophantic trick that really sort of insults the god’s intelligence, though flattery, as they say, will apparently get you everywhere. After you’ve got the god reeling from your flattery, you tuck in your request (“Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation. But deliver us from evil.”). Finally, you close with some solemn word and often more praise and hallowing (“Amen” or “In your holy and gracious name, Amen”). This form appears across at least western religious history and seems to me to reflect a broader religious ritual that people have been lulled through tradition into enacting more than a real attempt at communication with any god.
At any rate, it seems to me that given all the bad things that happen in the world and all the praying that gets done asking for reprieve from bad things, either prayer fails miserably and is, as I’ve proposed, an empty ritual, or the various gods are really lying down on the job. Neither proposition is an especially glowing recommendation for prayer or for religion.
Official Drupal Contributor
It’s official. I’m now a Drupal contributor. A month or two ago, I applied for a Drupal cvs account after writing a couple of modules I thought might be useful to some Drupal site administrators. Specifically, I wrote a module that lets the community keep track of and rate (in a roughly Diggish fashion) links picked up from aggregated feeds. I wrote another that helps correlate nodes in a Drupal site to bugs in some bug system or another. And to help add some polish to both of those, I wrote a module that incorporates xajax into Drupal to make for absurdly simple ajax integration. Yesterday, I got confirmation that my Drupal cvs account had been approved, and I’ve now checked these modules in here, here, and here for the world at large to use, praise, scoff at, whatever.
Holiday Roundup
I started back to work yesterday after 11 days in a row off work. I think I may have had 13 consecutive days off when Lennie was born and thanks in part to an additional hospitalization on Mleeka’s part, but that was hardly a relaxing break. This holiday season wasn’t altogether relaxing, but it was very nice.
We stayed pretty busy, going on a trip to the aquarium with Zac and Ella and family and going to a couple of holiday parties. Then we unloaded Lennie onto her Aunt Abbey for a day while we did some cleaning up around the house (our bedroom closet now looks like something off a home enhancement show). Then I spent the better part of a day shopping for and buying and returning (a defective) TV and buying a replacement and getting that installed. We now watch our 10 basic cable channels on a glorious 32-inch screen rather than the postage-stamp we had been accustomed to viewing. What a waste, huh? We also got a Playstation 2, having enjoyed hours of fun playing Andy’s (sorry, Mike, I know you recommended a modded X-box, but I just didn’t see myself doing all the work to mod it and I’m not into pirating games, so I figured I should get the same system several of my family members have so we could swap games, have big ass-whipping tournaments, etc.). So Mleeka and I spent a fair amount of time over the last week beating (almost) the 007 game we bought.
The best thing about the break was all the extra time I got to spend with Lennie. I’m pretty well accustomed by now to getting her up between 8:00 and 8:30 and hanging out with her until 9:00ish, trying to get some breakfast in her while watching cartoons together. But the last week or so, I had just hours and hours more time with her, and now that I’m back at work, I miss her. Even when I wasn’t actively playing with her, it was nice to watch her toddling around getting into various things and chattering about various usually unintelligible things.
She seems to me to be on the verge of a language explosion. She’s learned possessives, for example (the concept, if not the grammar). She’ll say “Daddy juice” when she wants some of my drink. And she keeps picking up new words (I bought some Wheat Thins this week, and she’ll run over to the counter where we keep them, saying “cacker”). She’s long said “up, please” when she’s wanted to be picked up or lifted over one of our gates, but now she says it (though she’s actually trying to say “help, please”) when she wants help with something like wiping her hands (she’s very picky about having clean hands). There’s lots more that’s not coming to mind, but she’s definitely getting more and more intelligibly verbal, and it’s fun to watch.
Last night, I was sharing some of my beverage with her, and we spilled it all down the front of her shirt. She immediately got up and ran into the kitchen and pulled a towel out of one of the drawers so she could dry herself off. It was a first and was very funny. She’s getting a sense of at-homeness, I think. She knows where things are and is starting to figure out how to take care of some things on her own. Similarly, when she’s got a booger, she’ll tell us now. The other night, when she kept dipping her fingers in some mustard (which she now favors over ketchup) and asking us to wipe it off her hand, I finally just gave her a napkin and showed her how to use it, and she made a pretty good go of it. Now she tells us when she’s pooped. She’ll come up to me and say something that sounds like her version of “apple” (which if you think about it, “diaper” and “apple” are pretty close linguistically) and then lead me into her room and lie there calmly while I change her. She’s not always so calm about diaper changes that I initiate. The next step will be to start getting the little potty out when she does this to help reinforce that association.
In other brain development news, she’s slowly getting her colors, and she’s pretty good at shape sorting and stacking. We got her one toy that’s four colored pegs on a little board. For each peg, there are different numbers of shapes in the corresponding color. The first time she played with this toy, she started putting the right color shapes on the right pegs. She continues to be a very good colorer and an able musician (she can now play the harmonica, the keyboard, a little xylophone, her drum, various shakers, etc.) and seems to have a pretty good sense of rhythm. We think we may have a little artist of some sort on our hands.
That’s it for now, I guess. Have to get back to work, which is unbelievably hard now after such a nice time off. Maybe I’ll go out today and buy a few hundred lottery tickets. Or maybe a philanthropist will venture across this post and decide to fund the further development of my obviously bright child by giving me enough money to sustain my family and play a more active role in her rearing. Here’s hoping.
In weight loss news, after a couple of weeks of pretty lousy adherence to the low-fat diet and a week off from the gym, I figured I’d be up 5 or 10 pounds, but I’ve held pretty steady, weighing in at 191 today. I’ve recently modified my workout so that hopefully my body will burn fat more efficiently. This should get rid of the remaining spare (bike) tire I’ve got and some other less than firm areas that I’ve had limited luck toning to date.